Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

perfect: adj. Having no mistakes or flaws; having all of the qualities you want in that kind of person, situation, etc.

I am a perfectionist. I like when things are exactly how I want them or turn out how I plan. I hate when things get messed up and flawed because they are not perfect in my eyes. Perfectionism is a flaw though. This idea I have that I can be and make everything perfect is illogical. We are human. We are imperfect humans who are flawed and can only strive to be like our perfect Creator. Now, I am going to ramble on for a bit, so please just bear with me until the end.

My entire life I have been a straight-A student and haven't tried hard at all for those A's. In elementary school, my mom would quiz me the night before tests and I remember rattling off answers word for word from the study guide or book. I could memorize spelling words and vocabulary; I could do math easily; I could recount historic events and science facts with ease. In middle school it was the same thing, and into high school. Even into my first semester of college I hardly studied and came out with a 4.0. No matter what, I got the "perfect" grades I wanted and put forth minimal effort.

Going into my second semester most of my classes were continuations of the basics I had taken my first semester. For the most part, they weren't too bad and with a little studying I did well. Except in Chemistry 2. As I have mentioned, I am a biology major on the pre-med track. I love biology and learning the natural order of things and how organisms work together in harmony. Part of the curriculum of a biology degree requires many classes in biology (obviously), chemistry, and physics. Chemistry, however, is my kryptonite. Chemistry 1 was a breeze for me because I was blessed with an extremely good high school chemistry teacher (thanks JT). However, Chemistry 2 contained new concepts that I struggled to comprehend. I hated that I couldn't make sense of the material, and stressed out about all of the exams because I wasn't doing "perfect". When finals rolled around I knew the exact grade I needed to make on the final and fell short by 4 points. I missed having an A by .4 points. It was devastating to me because I felt like a failure. I didn't get that "perfect" grade, but as Cassidy Barrett says, "Your grades don't define you."

Again, I have a challenging chemistry class this semester: organic chemistry. While I'm sure sometimes I make it more challenging than it is, I still spend long nights and days studying for it and so far I've only produced B material. I am, once again, falling short of my own standard of perfection. The thing is, it doesn't matter what it is we are trying to be perfect in, because we will not reach absolute perfection. We may reach earthly standards of perfection sometimes, but we will never actually be perfect because we were not created for that; it is an unattainable goal. You may want the "perfect" grades, the "perfect" body, the "perfect" life even, but you will fall short in those goals. Don't give up when you fail, just take it in stride. It is okay to fail sometimes.

You see, as much as I try and as much as I push myself I cannot be perfect either because I too am only human. Perfection is an unattainable human state. God knows that we are not perfect, and more importantly, He doesn't expect us to be. God is the only person we will ever know that is perfect, and all we can do is try our best to be like Him and not be too upset when we fall short. When we do fall short though, know that He still loves you and even though you feel as if you have failed you are right where He wants you. With that being said, go forth and strive for perfection and remember Psalm 139:14,
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." 
You are fearfully and wonderfully made and perfect in God's eyes even if they don't measure up to earthly standards.

xoxo, B

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