What Happened When I Let Go and Let God

Something I struggle with is control. I very much like being control and on top of things and something I struggle with is letting go of that and my tendency to plan everything and just give it to God. It's hard for me to leave things alone when I so badly want them to have a certain outcome or want to control them in a specific way. I just hate feeling out of control. I know that as a Christian I am supposed to give everything I have to God and that I am supposed to trust in the special plan He has for me and my life. I like to think that I do trust in His plan 100%, but deep down I know that I still try to plan and control everything that happens in my life, it's just who I am. Lately though, I've been trusting Him more, and I've been able to physically see the changes in my life no matter how small. I decided that in everything I do, I would just start to pray about it and know that whatever happened it was God's plan and that every outcome would lead me in the direction that I'm supposed to be going. At the beginning of the semester I was having a hard time because all of my classes were much more demanding than I was used to in addition to me working more than normal. It was just one of those points where one thing after another is constantly going wrong and you can't catch a break. I knew that I just had to wait it out until things turned around. And then it did. I cut my class load from 17 hours to 14 hours after choosing to go from a split religion and philosophy second major to just religion and while it didn't make much difference it made a small difference. I finally got in the groove of a new work schedule and started to balance out my study habits for the semester. It's still not going to be an easy semester, but I'm prepared to work through it. The second week of school I was in the middle of a breakdown and I was doubting my ability to handle the course load I had, but then all of a sudden I knew I could do it. One of my professors who I thought didn't like me told me about an MCAT prep for next summer at UT Memphis that he thought would be great for me. I got an interview for a fellowship that would be great experience for me. God knew I could do it if I could just make it through those first few weeks, and now I'm happier than ever, and doors are opening left and right when before I felt like they were all closing. While it's hard to believe I'm in my third year at UTC, it just gets better every year. God has blessed me with the best people around me and they push me to be my best and are there when I need them. I'm finally comfortable with letting God have control in my life and it has brought me a totally new peace I never knew I could have. So if you're out there doubting or struggling, just know that there's a plan and just keep on keeping on and it's all going to work out.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Hang in there, pray about whatever is bringing you down, and know it's gonna get better.

xoxo,
B

What This Summer Taught Me

As summer finally and unfortunately comes to a close, I can't help but think back and relive all those glorious moments from my summer. This one was by far one of the best yet, and I know that the things I did and saw will never compare to anything else. I learned a lot this summer about different things, it seems that going to new places does that to you. I opened my mind more than ever before and drank in new and wonderful cultures, even if some aspects of them were completely foreign to me. This summer brought me closer to God in all new ways and I learned that it's much better to spend money on experiences and places than on material objects. I learned to invest in spending time with people you care about because those memories will last much longer and will be much sweeter than anything else. There were times I literally couldn't believe my eyes at all the beauty around me and just had to take a moment to be alone with my thoughts and my God. I was blessed to visit so many places and meet so many people that I could never regret my time spent abroad, but only wish that I had had a little more time in some places with those people. My experience this summer taught me much more than Spanish language and culture, it taught me how to live. And once you've learned how to live you can never go back to just being content to sit in a classroom. Once you've had a taste of all that lies beyond those walls and the excitement from traveling somewhere new with people who were strangers just weeks before. You get that itch to keep traveling and seeing new places until there's nowhere on Earth you haven't seen, and nothing can compare to that moment you see a new place for the first time. I can remember touching down in London like yesterday when really it was 3 months ago. I remember waking up on the plane from London and looking out the window to see the most dazzling sunlight outside shining over the coast of Spain. I can see Granada from the bus window getting nearer and nearer. And suddenly I'm looking out the window of another plane and seeing the coast of New England as I get ready to touchdown in New York. I can never go back and relive this summer, but the memories and lessons learned will last me a lifetime along with some of the best friends I've ever known. I've been to edges of continents and ancient palaces and nothing can compare to the feeling of awe each new place gives you. No matter how much it costs or how hard it is, take the plunge and go. Go to that new, exciting place because in the end those are the memories you'll remember the most, not that pair of $160 shoes you saved for and ruined within 4 months. But that trip to Kilimanjaro or that view from the Alhambra will remain with you forever. Live for experiences, and much more importantly, experiences that bring you closer to the Lord because once you see the world you can't doubt his hand in Creation. The world is too beautiful a place for man to have made and it's meant to be seen. You're meant to see it.

xoxo,
B

When Will It End?

Another day, another terror attack. I got the alert shortly before going to bed last night that a truck had run through a crowd at a Bastille Day celebration in Nice, France. I'm not sure at this point that I even wonder if things are terror attacks anymore. I think I've come to just assume that unless the facts prove differently, but they rarely do. It's just the sad world that we live in today. A world that is being rattled over and over all over in the name of radical Islam.

Imagine going to a 4th of July celebration in your city, you just want to enjoy the nice summer weather and celebrate your country's independence. Enjoy a day off with your family to celebrate this joyous national holiday, when all of a sudden a truck loaded with all kinds of explosives driven by a man who was known to be violent to the police bombards through the crowd killing dozens of innocents. That's exactly what happened in Nice.

The reports are brutal to read and even worse to try to imagine, and world leaders are sending their thoughts to France from all over the world, many realizing something must be done about ISIS, who has yet to officially be named the perpetrator, but the US anti-terrorism office has good evidence pointing to the terror group being responsible as well as Twitter pages in association with the group being celebratory after the attack and using the hashtag Nice. These attacks send the world reeling almost weekly in new areas every time, but France has had the misfortune of being targeted twice in only 8 months, with French President Hollande extending the state of emergency from the attack in November. Some of the quotes from the world leaders are as follows:

"An attack on France, therefore, is an attack on the entire free world." - German president Gauck

"Those who carried out this brutal incident have nothing to do with humanity. In essence these barbarians have no place in this world or should they have." - Turkish president Recep Erdogan

"Terrorism can strike anywhere and must be fought everywhere... fight this evil until it is defeated." -Israeli prime minister Netanyahu

'"[It] runs counter to all religious teachings and humanitarian values."- Kuwait Sheikh Sabah Al Ahmad Al Sabah

"Makes it imperative for everyone to work together decisively and without hesitation to counter terrorism in all its forms." -Emirati Foreign Minister Sheikh Abdullah bin Zayad Al Nahyan

and my favorite is from Russian President Vladimir Putin saying that terrorism can only be defeated if "all civilized mankind pulls efforts together" and promising to work closely with France and other countries willing to fight the good fight against global terrorism.

We realize this is a global problem and that as much as our current president would like to just ignore it and hope for the best, we can't. We have to do more and we have to do it soon before more of the world falls to ISIS. Even though they face harsh opposition in Syria and Iraq, they are still amping up the attacks globally and it scares me to know that at any given time, while I'm doing any normal, everyday thing I could be a victim to a terror attack, but it's the world we live in today. Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of the Chattanooga shooting, but I feel no safer today than I did after that. Mostly because our government can't even admit that the attack one year ago that killed 5 military men was a terrorist attack.

I remember everything about that day. I had a stats exam in my summer class, and I had just finished up my morning swim lessons at the pool. Like every other day, I dried off and changed, but as I walked in the office my boss told me there was an active shooter situation not far from us, but that campus wasn't on lock-down because it was down the highway. I remember the knot in my stomach and the paranoia I had as I walked to class and the rest of the day, even long after the situation was safe. It broke my heart and the community, but we got through it; just like San Bernadino; just like Orlando; and just like Nice will, and France will again. But the thing is that we shouldn't have to get through it because it shouldn't be happening. If it takes a war then so be it, but this is a global matter just like it was in the 1910s and late 30s and 40s. We need to do more so we can prevent more attacks like Brussels, Paris, Nice, Chattanooga, Orlando, and whatever the next will be because if this passes with no further action just like the rest there will be a next. And the next president needs to be ready to deal with terrorism for real.

God bless Nice and the world,
B

1776

The 4th of July. 240 years ago (tomorrow actually) we became our own country, and in my opinion along the road we have become the greatest country along the way. Maybe less so now, but at times, not so long ago, we were by far the greatest country on Earth. I'm one of the proudest Americans you will ever meet, but at times like this I can't help but wonder how we have become what we are. We are more divided than we have been in decades, and it hurts my heart because 240 years ago we all had a common goal: unite together to form a nation. A nation that was something new, not a monarchy, but a democracy. A place where the people are heard and the government didn't overstep too much. After some trial and error we found a system and Constitution that worked for our new little country. We divided powers between state and federal levels and everything worked for us. We set up an economy, made allies abroad, and made a name for ourselves with some bumps along the way. America was the place to be, the place for a fresh start where the streets shined and the opportunities were endless. It worked for us for centuries. I'm not saying we were perfect at all, but we were a great place despite our problems. We were united, we were Americans. We all wanted the same things and everyone worked hard. In the 20th century we saw great changes in civil rights and things were well. Somehow though we have lost the way, our leaders have become weaker and more worried about making nice with all the other countries rather than worrying about our own. But that's another story all together.

It's no surprise we're in the middle of an election year. It is by far one of the worst races we've had in this country, but it comes at time that is very important because regardless of who the next president is it will be a defining point for this country. Do we choose the liar who has no remorse about the lives of the servicemen killed on her watch or do we choose the business mogul who "offends" everyone because he doesn't sugarcoat the truth? They will lead America down very different paths and the choice is in the hands of the people. There will be those who vote based on gender or because they feel it's the politically correct thing to do and then there will be those who know the issues and where they stand and who represents those issues best for them. There will be a winner and a loser and I'm anxious to see, but a little fearful too. I think our founding fathers would be disappointed in us. They never intended the country to be like this, being a politician was never meant to be a career. In the beginning the men who served in office were like any other, they were farmers, doctors, writers, they had other careers outside of politics. Now we have career politicians continuously trying to move up the political ladder until they reach the spot they want not caring who or what they use to get there. I don't think this country is a good enough place to say that we are the greatest country in the world. How can we be when we're so internally divided? Until we can unite as Americans, like after 9/11, and until the people here are once again proud to be Americans we can't be great again. We need to take pride in this country like our forefathers did and we can't do that without hard work. The American people need to get off their rumps and get back to working for the American dream rather than sitting by hoping it will fall in their laps.

I hope you remember what this day means and all the men and women who have fought for the freedom we've had for 240 years now because it hasn't been free as much as some millennials might take it for granted. In the words of one of my favorite presidents:

"And so my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

That's from John Fitzgerald Kennedy in his inaugural address if you're unfamiliar and it's something you should ask yourself every single day. I hope everyone had a blessed 4th of July, even though I celebrated in Spain it was still a good one!

All the best,
B

 

Hey God, It's Me

Hey God,

It's me, your daughter. I come to you after taking 3 out of 4 finals. I know we've talked a lot this week, but we haven't really talked in awhile, so here I am. For the past week or so there have been a lot of short prayers sent up from me to You. Quite a few quick prayers for exams or patience or focus, and at least 30 Hail Mary's. I know that our nightly talks have been short and have been about the same every night this week, me asking for guidance, knowledge, and strength alongside the normal prayers for my family, friends, and future. It's the prayer of a college kid. I'm sorry our talks have been so short and uninteresting, but that's why I'm here right now. I'm here to talk.

Let me begin by apologizing. I'm sorry. I'm the first to admit that my track record for Mass attendance has been dismal this semester, and I'm sorry. There have been too many nights that I stayed out too late and didn't make Mass the next morning, but I will try to do better. There have been many times lately that I've said something wrong or mean or didn't think before I spoke and I'm sure it's hurt you, and I'm sorry. There have been times that my actions have not been Christ-like and I have not lived like a child of God and I'm sorry. I will do better. Part of being human means that I will inevitably sin and do wrong, but being your daughter means that I also am forgiven and for that I can never be thankful enough. I am not worthy of your endless mercy and love, but I can spend every day trying my hardest to be.

All week I've been asking you for this or that, help me on this exam, help me get through this day, help me have patience with people, but now I'm asking you to use me. Use me to reach others. Use me to be a messenger. Use me to spread your word. Help me to do something for you, and give back. Send me out into the world with purpose and let me serve you.

xoxo,
B

"Only fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things he has done for you." 1 Samuel 12:24

Enough is Enough

I write this post in the wake of recent events at UTC. Earlier this week, one of my very best friends and one of the best people I know was verbally attacked by others, including organizations, on campus. You may have heard of the story through various media outlets by now, but this is a first hand account of the overreach of political correctness in this country and more specifically on college campuses. On Tuesday night, Hailey Puckett and some others chalked the middle of UTC's campus, a spot called Heritage Plaza that holds the four seals of UTC, with pro-Trump drawings. Now let's back up a minute, Hailey was recently elected as a senator for SGA for the upcoming school year. Following the drawings, dubbed "The Chalkening", Hailey tweeted a picture of the drawing with the quote, "Super proud of our art work, but I have a feeling half of UTCs campus is gonna hate it. #TheChalkening #Trump2016". Her prediction was correct and after only about 30 minutes she deleted the tweet due to aggressive responses from a group of UTC students. One girl in the group took to it to screenshot the tweet and write a Facebook post about it encouraging people to share it and saying things such as "we as a campus support love, diversity, and unity and Donald Trump does not support any of these things" and the student went on to question why someone was allowed to run and be elected who supports someone who "encourages violence at his rallies, inequality, racism, and pure hatred". The student openly says that black UTC students took it upon themselves to "clean up" campus that night. I have many problems with this post, and I know that there are similar views from a number of people because they disagree with Trump. Trump is blunt and to the point, he doesn't sugar coat the truth and for that many people hate him and disagree with his campaign. That's fine, but even if you don't like him you have to respect that some people do agree with his policies.

However, the insanely messed up world we live in has told us that we absolutely must at all times be politically correct. The problem with this is that there is such a thing as being TOO politically correct and now college campuses are filled with students getting their feelings hurt and offended on every corner. Political correctness is out of control in this country and college campuses are breeding grounds for it. Professors are constantly having to watch themselves to make sure they do not say or teach anything that could offend someone and get them in hot water, which in some ways is interfering with their students' education. Political correctness has gotten entirely too out of hand, but it's so engrained that Americans don't even realize it anymore. If we continue to put such an emphasis on it, it will continue to destroy our country and I hate to see that happen. If someone hurts your feelings so what? We have 20 year olds more sensitive than 6 year olds and that's not okay. You don't have to agree with everyone and everyone doesn't have to agree with you, but you should respect that person regardless of whether or not you agree with them. That's what we lack in this country: a lack of respect for people of different views. We preach tolerance, but in reality it only pertains to the people who agree with your beliefs, and more often than not it's liberals preaching tolerance, but the second they meet a Republican (God forbid they be a Trump supporter too) they stop practicing what they preach and they try to tell the other person that their beliefs are wrong. It's hypocritical and childish. I respect people of different beliefs and their right to support whomever they wish in the election regardless of if I agree, and I ask that people do the same, and I sure know Hailey does.

Hailey was degraded on social media for her personal political beliefs after chalking campus Tuesday night, and was even asked to resign from her newly elected position for the following year. While people were yelling about how Trump oppresses people and is evil, they were doing the same thing to Hailey and not even caring they were doing it. This girl couldn't even go to class on Wednesday because of everything going on, and when she did venture onto campus she had to have people walking with her solely for protection. Please tell me how that is spreading love and supporting diversity and unity because I see none of those things. Everything people were saying Trump does that they hate they were doing to this kind-hearted girl. She basically had to hide all day while being blown up and essentially cyber-bullied via Twitter and Facebook, but refrained from saying anything further for fear of her words being twisted even more. People were putting words in her mouth and were trying to make the tweet into things it didn't mean. It's basic knowledge that college campuses are hot spots for young liberals, but can be scary for young conservatives, so if I had to guess when she said, "I have a feeling half of UTCs campus is gonna hate it" who are you to be saying that it meant one thing or the other? I interpreted it as, "all of the liberals and anti-Trump college kids aren't going to agree with this", and not as "black UTC and all of the minorities were being targeted". Not everything has to be about race and gender regardless of what all of the politically correct people of the world will have you think.

No one deserves to have their First Amendment taken away because some people disagree with it or because what they say may offend someone, which let's be real you can't do anything without offending at least one person these days. Much less should someone be asked to resign from a position with a group encouraging diversity and inclusion for an unpopular belief. This whole thing was a mess and had it been any other presidential candidate, it would have never even gotten attention. If "Feel the Bern" had been written it probably would've even been praised and taped off by Sanders supporters as a monument. Hailey is great, and I'm glad she's not resigning from her position because she has done nothing wrong, nothing other than use
 her First Amendment right.

Stay classy,

B

20 things I've learned in 20 years

Happy Spring guys! I know I've been MIA, but life has been in the way. Everyday I see little things that remind of how lucky I am and how incredible this world is. I've been blessed with 20 years on this Earth now and I've come to realize a few things in that short time, so here they are.

1. Have a relationship with God.
In this day and age God is looked down on in society and so is having a public relationship with Him for the most part. Don't be afraid. Even if it isn't hip, go forth and be a child of God.

2. Put your relationship with Him before everything else.
Once you let God take control things will get easier. It's not always an easy thing to learn, but part of having a relationship with Him is trusting Him to take care of you. He won't steer you wrong.

3. Take time to enjoy nature.
Even if it's on your way to class, look around at the trees and flowers and the beauty of the world. Nothing is better than getting lost in the Great Outdoors every once in awhile.

4. Make time for your family.
Your family made you who you are, so don't overlook them. They're more than likely the ones who will always have your back. Spend time with them every once in awhile.

5. Especially your grandparents.
Grandparents are blessings, and I'm so fortunate to have 3 living grandparents plus a step-grandmother. They are full of wonderful stories and life lessons, if you take time to listen I'm sure they can teach you something.

6. You will never regret doing the right thing.
ever.

7. That right thing may not always be the easy thing.
Sometimes we choose the wrong thing because it's easy or comfortable instead of stepping out of our comfort zone to do the right thing. Be remembered as someone who always did the right thing even when it wasn't easy.

8. Always be humble and kind.
*insert Tim McGraw song lyric*

9. Be a good friend.
No one likes flaky friends or sometimes friends. Be the kind of friend you like to have. Be there for people. I'd rather be a good friend to a few people than a sometimes friend to a bunch of people.

10. Be passionate about something.
It doesn't matter what it is (unless it's making meth or something illegal or bad). Be passionate about something you love and do it. Make a career of it if you can.

11. Don't be afraid to try new things.
I never want to miss out on something great because I was too afraid. What if I had been to afraid to move to Chattanooga? Or what if I had been too afraid to be a lifeguard? I would've missed out on some amazing memories with some amazing people.

12. Go for it.
Whatever it is. Whatever is holding you back. Overcome the wall and go for it.

13. Learn new things.
I love learning personally. Today, I was prompted with the question, "What would you do if you weren't a student?". I replied that I would be sad because I'm that big of a nerd and I love learning so much. Knowledge is a powerful thing people.

14. Stand your ground.
Do not let someone walk all over you and mock your beliefs. I repeat, DO NOT. Be polite about it, but stand up for yourself.

15. It's okay that everyone has different opinions. 
I'm a Republican. I don't hate Democrats though. I'm a Catholic (which is a Christian). I don't hate people of other religions though. It's called tolerance and it's important to have. It's okay to disagree with people as long as you respect their opinion.

16. You can't always get it right.
But you sure can try your best to.

17. Life is tricky.
If there's anything I've learned it's that life is not easy, but it's what you make it.

18. Attitude is important.
A good attitude can go a long way. You can have a great day or a terrible day and it's all up to you. Wake up with a mindset that everyday will be a great day.

19. Work ethic is everything.
We live in a world with a poor work ethic. We have become lazy and selfish and we don't want to work for anything. I was taught by my grandpa that if you want nice things you have to work for them. I do everything 110% and I naturally expect everyone else to do so as well, but that's not always the case. Be someone with a strong work ethic.

20. Have fun.
It's so easy to get bogged down in daily life. Go out with your girlfriends on a Monday night. Go for a hike. Go to the beach. Read a book. Whatever it is you do for fun do it. Life is short.

Maybe you listen to some of these, maybe you ignore all of them. It's up to you.

Until next time,
B

P.S. 55 days until Spain!!!

These Forty Days

Happy Ash Wednesday! Today is my absolute favorite Catholic holiday, with the Advent season as a close second. Some may find it silly that we make a big deal of going to Mass and then parading around with ashes on our forehead for the rest of the day, which depending on when you go to Mass can be quite long. We get strange looks, the inevitable "You have something on your face" comment, and there are always those times we feel judged. Maybe you think it's showy, maybe it offends you (God forbid that happen in this day and age), but honestly, I take pride in my ashes and I encourage all of my fellow Catholics to do the same. Let me tell you why. Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of a 40 day fast period before Easter. Before the day we celebrate the Lord being crucified and rising from the grave. FOR US. He did all of that for us. He suffered, he endured, he struggled. He was whipped. He was mocked. He even wore a crown of thorns. All for you and I, His brothers and sisters who are hopeless sinners and can only strive to be as great as Him. So really the least we can do as mere human beings is to parade around once a year bearing the humbling sign of Him in ashes on our foreheads. As you receive your ashes the priest says, "You are dust and to dust you may return." That statement is humbling on so many levels. We come from nothing; we are made of the very ground that we walk and spit on, but we were worth dying for. As mentioned in the readings today, Lent is a time of rebirth; it's a period when you can wipe your slate clean and begin new, so make the most of it.

As I mentioned before, Lent (the 40 day period that Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of) is a period of fasting. The church challenges us to abstain from meat on Ash Wednesday and the Fridays of Lent while also participating in a fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. These are thought to be a minimum and you are encouraged to "give up" something else during the period. Over the years I've given up dessert, candy, fast food, Twitter, even Netflix (which truly does increase productivity and grades, imagine that). This year I have obtained a sort of candy addiction, so that is what I will be fasting from over the next 40 days. In addition to fasting from some things, you can also set goals for yourself. I try to set religious goals as a way to go the extra mile, so this year I decided to start praying a daily Rosary and I am going to try to make it to Adoration and the Stations of the Cross one Friday.

You may ask why we make all this fuss. In the Catholic Church we celebrate Advent to prepare our hearts for the Christmas holiday and bring our focus on the birth of Jesus Christ. Lent is similar in that we are preparing for Jesus Christ, except this time it is to celebrate his rising. We have a 40 day period because it is symbolic of the 40 days in the Bible that Jesus spent in the desert being tempted by Satan. Our fast during Lent is reciprocal of His sacrifice for us; this time we are the ones making a sacrifice. Your Lenten promises are meant to challenge you, they are not meant to be easy. We are supposed to be tempted by the things we give up. That's the whole point. So this Lent challenge yourself, don't do the same thing you always do or give up something that will not be difficult for you. Go that extra because Jesus sure went above and beyond for you.

Britt's reading corner: Since most of my current reading material involves textbooks my suggestion for you is to read a little of the Bible everyday. (Maybe make this your Lenten promise) It can be very comforting.

Until next time my friends,
B

Answering the Call

As I was saying my prayers tonight I felt one of those rare times when you are completely and totally in tune with God. I felt absolutely certain that He was on the other end of the conversation and was listening loud and clear to the prayers I was sending up. The prayer for a loving, God-fearing husband who loves God so much that I will never doubt his love of me or our family. The prayer of my calling and what I feel my future will involve.

I think often about my future. I'm always planning ahead as far as classes, summers, medical school, there's always something; there is always a next step. There has never been much doubt as to what field I wanted to be in when I grow up. I've always been pulled to the medical field and I feel that God wants and needs me there. I have a special soft spot for kids and God-willing I will dedicate my life to helping sick children get better. That's not all I want though.

I want more.

I want to be a wife. I want to be a mother. I want to make an impact in my community. Society tells me I shouldn't be content with only being a mother or a wife, and that I should want more because I am a 21st century woman and by being content with those things is to undo what women have fought so hard for for the past 50 years. So what. God put woman on Earth to be man's companion. He made it so that a woman can carry a child. This is what we were made for first and foremost and that is what I want to be first and foremost. I want to be the best wife and mother I can be to my future family. Yes, I absolutely want to be a successful pediatrician and surgeon, and I hope that I can have a wonderful career in medicine and make a difference in the world through my work. But at the end of the day I will also be my husband's wife. I will carry his name as will our children, and they will be my greatest accomplishment. It doesn't matter to me what scientific feat I solve or improve if I haven't dedicated it to God because even that cannot compare to the greatness of raising a family in the church and the rewards I will get from teaching them about the Lord and watching them grow in their own faith. I want more than to just be successful in the workplace, I want everything I do to reflect my faith and I want my life's work to be dedicated to God in every way. 

This isn't about gender to me, this is about answering the call that God has instilled in my heart: the calling to be a mother and a wife before anything else, and being a doctor second. To answer the call. 

I can't see a baby without having my heart melt and wonder about my own kids someday. Most nights I pray for my future husband because even if I haven't met him yet I know he's somewhere out there, and I pray for him. God calls us each to different paths; some of us are called to service in the priesthood or monastery, some are called to marriage, and some are called to be single, but to still live in service to God. No matter the call that you feel, it's up to you to follow through with it.

So go forth and prepare your hearts for Lent, and eat your hearts out on Fat Tuesday.

Peace be with you,

B

Here's to College

Well guys, it's Saturday night. I've got the anthem of the night playing in the background already (Friends), a bag of tortilla chips and salsa, and a juice box because let's face it I'm really a child in a 19 year old's body. The semester has hit hard at this point and it's been a long week of studying, so
here's to a night of me.

College is great. It changes your whole life really. There are good days, and there are bad. There are days you feel like you can conquer anything, and days you feel like nothing worse can happen. You meet incredible people. You maybe even get to see new places. That being said I have an announcement!!

I AM GOING TO SPAIN. THIS SUMMER.

I could not be more excited! I will be studying for 6 weeks in Granada, Spain from June-July. This is something I never could have imagined doing, but am so ecstatic about. I may have mentioned before, but if not, I am minoring in Spanish. This will be an amazing experience to improve my language skills.

Back to the post about college though. I'm sure you're wondering why a 19 year old college kid is laying on her couch contently on a Saturday night watching a 90s sitcom. It's because 1) I love Joey, Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Phoebe, and Monica and 2) because sometimes in college you need a break.
I love people, but sometimes I need to be alone for a night to just think and be with me. Since I came to college I realized what it means to be an individual. In college, you don't have anyone telling you what to do or what's cool or how you should act; you just do your own thing. I have made incredible friends that I never could've made in high school. I have so many memories that I have made here and I love it. Even the weeks that I have 3 tests and homework and a writing assignment due, it's not so bad. I power through it and make it to the weekend. College makes you sad and cry and sometimes you kinda wanna hide under your covers all day, but some days it makes you so happy and you wonder how you got here. My favorite thing to do walking across campus is to just look around and take things in (if it's a nice day).

College is a place to discover you. Do what you want. Do what makes you happy. You're the only one who can. The days you think you just can't do it anymore, just keep going. Put one foot in front of the other and keep going. It'll get better eventually, it may be tomorrow or next week or next month, but it will get better. I promise.

Until next time friends,
B

Leaving.

A weird thing happened to me yesterday.

I came home (to Lawrenceburg) Friday night and stayed with my grandparents overnight and hung out with Nana Saturday until I had to come back to Chatt. If you don't know, my Nana is one of my absolute favorite people in this whole world. I adore the woman and I would do about anything for her. She is my role model and I hope to be half the woman she is someday. Friday night, I alternated between helping her around the kitchen and talking to Nonno (my grandfather). We chatted as she cooked supper and caught up on the things I had missed in the last month. Even though I didn't see much or do much in the brief 22 hours I was at home, I had a great time.

Nana is full of stories and I could listen to her tell them all day long. There are some I hear over and over and never tire of, and there are some that I've only heard once. She's so full of life and knowledge and never ceases to amaze me with her stories. She has no idea the impact she has on my life or that I'm tearing up writing this right now just thinking about the amazing woman she is. When I was living at home I would generally stop by her office every single day, sometimes for 5 minutes, sometimes for an hour and a half. It was rare that a day would go by and I wouldn't stop by. That was the thing I missed the most when I went off to college. In place of the frequent drop-bys I took to calling her as I walked everywhere. She is honestly the person I miss the most from home. She never stops believing in me and always has a pep talk for me if I call her when I've had a bad day or have a big test coming up. I can always call her when I need a recipe or advice on how to cook something or do something and she always helps me out.

Now back to the weird thing that happened yesterday. I've never actually been homesick. Maybe it's because I know my family is only a short call or 2.5 hour drive away. Maybe it's because I outgrew Lawrenceburg and love Chattanooga so much. I'm not sure, but for whatever reason I've never felt overwhelmingly homesick. There are times I can't wait to go back and see my family and friends, but never a real longing to be home. I usually enjoy my weekends in Lawrenceburg, but am eager to head back east; except this weekend.

This weekend as I loaded up my bags and got into my car it was different.  I wished that I could stay just one more night to catch up with some friends and have a little more time with my family. I hugged Nana and got in my car and as I looked out the windshield I saw my 5'1" grandmother that I had just spent the morning with and she broke my heart. I wanted to stay for the first time. She looked like she had tears in her eyes as she waved at me while I pulled away and so did I. For the first time ever, I cried like a baby as I drove off.

Defining Life

What is life?

This is a common question we hear or ask. As a biology major I spend a lot of time thinking and discussing this question. You see, life is everywhere. It's in you and I; it's in your neighbor with the annoying kid down the street; in your dog; in the squirrel in your yard; it's everywhere. Life is everything we know and more. Life is valuable and precious and I absolutely think you should take every moment for what it's worth. Our society is so fast-tracked that few people live in the moment. It's hard between social media showing us everything we've missed in the last hour when we checked it at lunch or between all of the meetings we may have.

When we are born we all have a blank canvas. Let me take a moment to give a quick 20th century art lesson. This guy named Jackson Pollock was a pretty big deal in the 20th century, you may have heard of him. His paintings are worth a lot of money, and one day I hope to own one. A real one. He used a unique approach called drip technique by which he splattered paint on his canvases as he leaned over them. It didn't really matter if random objects got in the paint and some have his cigarette butts in them. Back to the discussion of life now.

We are born with blank canvases. As we grow into toddlers and learn to talk and walk and ride bikes we start experimenting with the drip technique. We put a drip here and a drop there. As we get older we start making longer drips and the piece starts to come together little by little.  Everyone's is different. While mine may have a blue streak in the upper corner, my roommate's may have a few orange drips in the upper corner. Everyone uses different colors and has different experiences which contributes to his or her painting in different ways. By the end of our life, we have created a whole Jackson Pollock of our own. I use the Jackson Pollock example because his art is so chaotic, yet beautiful; an accurate representation of life.

It's easy to see the lives of the Kardashians (hopefully you have more class and higher standards than that) or see the lives of the incredibly rich and successful and want that. I'm not in any way saying I don't want to be rich and have nice things, but that's not all there is to life. I want to grow old with someone and have kids and grandkids. I want a nice house with a wrap-around porch that I can sit on. I want to have days when I can just go fish or take my kids to the zoo. I want the simple things, too. Don't get so caught up in what other people have that you forget what you have. Your life is yours. You can make it what you want and do what you want. Do that thing that makes you happy no matter how "cool" it is. It's all about you and you only get one shot to make it what you want. I know this is all incredibly cliché, but it's so true. So go out there and listen to Miley Cyrus and Luke Bryan and "do your thing".

So stay classy and look up to the Hepburns and Kennedys and Reagans, or the Kardashians and Mileys if you choose because it's your life. Go live it up guys.

xoxo, B

New Year, New Me

I've never been one for New Year resolutions, mostly because I don't commit to them for very long so they're kind of pointless to make for me. If you have made a resolution then I hope you are doing well with whatever it is. As all of the "New Year, New Me" posts fade away and people are done reminiscing about 2015 on social media, I begin to think about the year ahead of me. Monday I begin my fourth semester of college that I will be entering as a Junior (yay). Yesterday, my roommates and I toured a potential apartment for next fall. It hit me that this could be a big year for me, or it could just be another mediocre year. Life's what you make it, right? So here it is, here is my plan for the year, or resolutions if you consider them that:

School: 

As far as school goes, I'm holding approximately a 3.9 (I think) for a GPA which I am content with and know I have worked hard for. The past two semesters have ended with all A's and one B (an 89 both times). This semester will no doubt be the hardest semester I've had and my goal is a 4.0 for it. Here's a look at the line-up: Genetics, Ecology, Scientific Writing, Spanish for Conversation II, Organic Chemistry II, and Organic Lab. So here's a great semester of college!

Travel: 

Due to my love for travel and that I have a Spanish minor, I have plans to go to Spain for a study abroad chance in June/July. It's still early in the planning stage, but I have gotten the ball rolling and hope to go through with it. If I do go though, I will be in a place called Granada on the southern coast. I will keep y'all updated on that though! Hopefully, I can take other trips around the country this year too though! I would love to go back to NYC or somewhere else. 

Health:

I can attest for the fact that college can make you fat. It's not always obvious, but gradually your jeans are harder to get into or that shirt is a little tighter than last time. The past couple of months I have really noticed these changes and decided I needed to do something about it. Right after Christmas I started buying more healthy food and snacks and I have been doing better with eating and being active (thanks to my Fitbit from Dad). I can't see much difference right now, but hopefully after a month or so I will see some difference. 

Life:

This year I turn 20 (I feel old). One of my very best friends will be getting married (congrats Sam and Scot). Some of my friends will graduate. I'll move into a new place with my roommates. Hopefully, I will read a lot more books and see lots of movies. Eat good food and meet new people. Vote in my first presidential election. And so much more that I don't even know about yet. 

Religion:

Last year I grew a lot in my faith. I walked with Jesus more, and felt better in my beliefs. I felt like a better person overall really. I figured out what I wanted and what I needed to do in my call to Christ. In the new year, I hope to be a better Catholic in every way I can. My goal is to go to more days of obligation, go to confession more, and be more active in my church. 

These "resolutions" are coming a week late, but better late than never. There are some things I can't plan for, but I'm hoping for a good year with good friends. 

NEW! Britt's Reading Corner: I'm going to start suggesting a book that I've read or am reading. 

Deadly Choices: How the Anti-Vaccine Movement Threatens Us All  by Paul A. Offit, M.D.

I haven't finished this yet, but what I have read has been so good! I highly suggest it. 

Stay classy

xoxo B